Since an infant opens eyes in this world of surprises, plenty of warm relations get started. In the beginning, we all enjoy the unconditional love of our parents and other siblings. Later on, with gradual evolution, we experience interaction with several other relations including neighboring friends, school fellows, and teachers, etc. Moving on, into our professional lives, relationships with colleagues, subordinates, and bosses are also accumulated.
It is the beauty of life pattern that it possesses bitterness and joys, blessings and deprivations in its dynamic journey. During all this thick and thin, relations are also evaluated. True relations survive while the mean ones are dropped.
Every relationship is a unique one and has its own level of connectivity, however, certain aspects are common for every relationship. Each relationship is bounded by the mutual spirit of cooperation and due respect. No relationship can progress in the long run without “Give and Receive”, therefore, honesty, trustworthiness, equality, and support from both sides are the supreme core values.
It is a known fact that human relations can never be absolute, they are variable. In order to maintain them throughout life, you need to put effort every day. Although contradictions are part and parcel of human life, however, a dent in warm relationships hurts a lot. Especially in the case of primary relationships like the relation between husband and wife which is surely the most practical one and time tested through all the hardships. Disturbance in the said relationship is a natural phenomenon, mostly due to mismatched behaviors and misunderstandings. Cold relations between couples badly affect the children, family, and the related community as well. This prime relation is a bridge between other co-relations.
Effects
Bad relationships spoil the life quality in manifolds including unbalance in the physical as well as the mental state of the individual. The sufferer is demoralized during all the ongoing activities, work performance declines, mental health is distorted, sleep patterns are disturbed, and self-confidence is lost. Moreover, prolonged disputes enhance the toxicity and life becomes a hard burden.
How to Deal with a bad relation
If you want to improve a bad relationship then the first and foremost thing to understand is that no relationship can stand on one wheel. There should be a willingness to save the relationship at both ends. If so is the case then the following can help to solve the pertaining issues;
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Elevate self-esteem:
Self-love and care are most important. The more you are connected to yourself, the easier it will be to stand and fix. Stay composed and confident.
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Change Yourself:
No one can be perfect and always fulfill your expectations that is why flexibility is essential. So lessen the expectations and work on yourself till u find everything perfect.
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Accept responsibility:
Negligence and little mistakes add up to create a bigger argument. In order to solve that, be responsible for mistakes and the way you react.
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Don’t dwell on the past:
Past is something we cannot correct, yet we can learn. So, neither sticking to the past nor bringing old matters in arguments will regain the valuable relation.
See it from the other eye:
“What we see in others is a reflection of us”
Before criticizing the other person, look at the scenario from their perspective and make sure the problem isn’t from your side. This will also help. Shifting the point of observation will help to understand the other’s stance.
Be willing to forgive:
“Forgiveness is best of the acts”
Every- one makes mistakes or bad choices in life as “To err is human”. If a person is in a pang of guilt, step forward and forgive. Life is all about taking chances, so try to trust and care as you did before.
Identify the pitfalls:
Unruffle your mind and think about the up-settings/lacks in the relation. Inspect where things went wrong and by doing so you are already halfway through fixing a bad relationship
Express yourself
You cannot blame someone for not knowing the things you didn’t tell them. Express yourself without filters. Keeping things with yourself can lead to misunderstandings.
Rebuild the Trust
True relations are based upon mutual trust. During the phase of bad relationships, the trust factor also deviates. To regain the lost trust, the following key factors might be exercised:
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Improve Inter Communication Level:
Intercommunication between stakeholders definitely suffers during conflicts, so it might be improved because frequent and clear communication rebuilds the trust factor and better connectivity is attained. It indicates you are willing to talk, keen to listen, and ultimately things are sorted out.
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Gifts:
Who doesn’t like gifts and surprises!! This minor act can break the shell and connect the differentiated people
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Influence of a Mutual Friend / Figure:
If misunderstandings are not settled between the two stakes, then the influence of a third person who is acceptable to both can make a deal. Such a neutral person may be a mutual friend or any senior member of the family etc.
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Written Affirmation
While recouping the relations, core reasons might be addressed and endorsed in a write-up because people forget verbal affirms and these assurances may be twisted. Apropos, written promises develop the expectations and sense of liabilities.
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Keep positive stories of yourself and Other Person
Negative stories downgrade each other’s relations more. Be ready to move forward. Every person deserves a new chance. To rebuild trust, a positive approach starts improvement which is a big achievement.
“All relationships go through hell, real one get through it”
It rarely happens that in spite of all efforts, things do not work. Optimum efforts as elaborated above, be made to settle down the mishaps, however, if the relationship is not working out even after a number of reconciliation attempts then it’s better to turn your back. This world is full of capable persons; so let the false individual go. Ultimately it is your life so just move on. Don’t hang on, connect with the most righteous one and change up every moment of your life.
SehatYab is an online mental health service run by leading psychiatrists and psychologists providing a full-scope service that is affordable, accessible, and private. You can consult an online relationship counselor and discuss your issue with complete privacy.